Sunday, July 30, 2006
Why do Americans neglect "play time" in favor of work time?
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Sassy minx has a Slaugherhouse Five moment...
I have decided that there exists a hierarchy of personalities in the workplace, each distinctive, often endearing, but most often not; yet, I find myelf caught in another twist of my life --> does it always yields a perfect opportunity...?
I found it interesting that most people that I have worked with over the course of my career feell into the following categories:
Manic - Depressive Boss: defined as one who reminds you of your 4th grade teacher, though not in that warm and fuzzy kind of way. Rather, she walks around with security badges not so subtly tied around her visage, hoping her perfectly pink and bronze bobbi brown cheeks don't looks too noticeable. And, while new comers always think this person is the sweetest most naive individual, she is actually quite cunning in her ability to use that exterior to fool those, albeit inadvertantly, around her. She carries what she thinks is a big stick, though many on her team would disagree. Blind to most around her, she hones in on PowerPoint presentations like a flock of angry seagulls, even after the long-nights and weekends spent on it's creation. Often, she will make so many changes on your "deck", you will think that the cover sheet should have a C- circled around it, if not worse. There is never a "thank you"; only awkward parties and hugs on your birthday; and when she is getting ready for "her monthly's friend", her already obsessively odd , strinkingly happy (or is she), behavior turns into venom. Now you are happy with the C-, as she isn't feeling as nice, yielding a D if you are lucky. If you are a natural leader, you will butt heads with this far sighted manager, often confusing the concept of leader vs. manager.
The Work-A-Holic Boss: If you have the pleasure of working for that single-but-married to their job kind of person, you will suffer their martyrdom more often than being inspired by their leadership. Often clueless to others' feelings, this person is devoid of tact and people skills. Because they spend so many hours at the office, they become anti-social personalites, often finding quick flings at the office or through friends, but never lasting longer than 3-5 months. Another far sighted group, they miss the boat on those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities for your team /yourself. She will be caught up in the proverbial "weeds", which ironically enough, she will call you out for getting into, and won't see the passing ship sailing off into the distance. No matter what ailment, she is always at the office, sending email until 12 am, and thrives on how many other people notice her hours.
The I-Have-Tenure-so-got-this-job-boss: This is the manager who used to hold the role you are currently in; a fate worse then death if you are filling the shoes of the person who is now your boss. Not only will they judge you for what you do / how you do it different to her. Even worse, many companies promote from within, which is a great concept in theory, and if certain general guidelines are used when deciding who to promote, then skip reading the rest of this example and move to the next -- If your boss, bosses boss, and bosses bosses boss, seem to move up the ladder in tandem, most likely, they are tenured -- Guidelines are as follows A) they are young, bright and full of potential; don't fear us because we are you, don't hate us for being beautiful; B) they have a strong sense of self and aren't afraid to stand up for what they believe in C) Is articulate, intelligent and witty enough to carry a conversation and D) is inclined towards their left brained side; in essense, are good with numbers / slicing and dicing of data . E) Often have no tenure, so don't carry the "war stories" like other, more tenured employees.
The Dirty Old Man / Dirty Office Tramp: I know it sounds bad but they actually are a lot of fun once you get to know them. I also consider gay men who like to pinch your breasts &/or ass, in this category. You know you have found one when A) they have run out of same / opposite sex people to hit on (sometimes scoring or "going all of the way" but often times not). B) Can think, talk, say and do nothing but things related to sex -- We all have that sex kitten inside of us, but this office worker bee gets hot off of stress, enjoying a good f*ck over making love anytime. C) This person's name is part of the office rumor mill -- you know the rumor circuit is the fastest in a corporate environment, less in a start-up other than "dude, we're getting a foos-ball machine!" one, where the chicken women, miserable in their marriages, get together over the proverbial water cooler to rip apart every women and guy in the company, of course with the staple gay sidekick at their side like a sycophant, praising your beauty ad nauseum. Men will pinch butts but in that "I'm an old guy and can get away with it" kind of way (gay men are notorius at this, as well); Women will dress slightly more provocative, even in the most librarian slutty way, as they understand what men really find hot.You can't fault these beauties; they are who they are, after all.
The Pretend Friendship to Fill Your Workday: Painful as it may sound, there are people who pretend to be your friend or at least, that is what you surmise in hindsight, who leave the common organization only to drop your friendship. While many people seperate church and state, which in this case, is work and life, these people have such interesting personalities, that you adopt many of their traits. The rate of friendship grows exponentially over years, and when they feel sad, you feel sad; and when they leave and seem to forget all about you, you are challenged to pick up the corporate pieces.
The Analytic vs. Methodic - the latter is a person who is so caught up in planning their next move, that they never move, much like the manic-depressive boss. These people are excellent and planning for their next move, and in a project manager role, they can flourish. But leader of the people, they are not. The former analytic soul can make much faster twich decisions, uses a self-prescribed data-driven process for decision making but in a much smaller scale than the Methodic. The two butt heads a lot, but always respectfully, sometimes challenging the other. The methodic is inclined to see the analytic as lacking focus and always onto the "next best thing"; the analytic seeing the methodic as a "boring, more apt to purchase a savings bond than invest in a blue chip" person, yet both meet up in the middle because of their keen intellict and witty conversations about everything under the sun.
The inspiration: Once every while you are lucky enough to have 1 or 2 great bosses and colleauges in your career. These people are selflessly devoted to make their team a success, shining light of their team and always supporting and breaking down obsticles so they don't have to. This person understands that "from their success, comes my success" a simple, yet overlooked concept in business -- These people are often considered "clean up " crews, coming in to save a division of the company just in time. They are dynamic and the best type to be around, and certainly off of this list.
I found it interesting that most people that I have worked with over the course of my career feell into the following categories:
Manic - Depressive Boss: defined as one who reminds you of your 4th grade teacher, though not in that warm and fuzzy kind of way. Rather, she walks around with security badges not so subtly tied around her visage, hoping her perfectly pink and bronze bobbi brown cheeks don't looks too noticeable. And, while new comers always think this person is the sweetest most naive individual, she is actually quite cunning in her ability to use that exterior to fool those, albeit inadvertantly, around her. She carries what she thinks is a big stick, though many on her team would disagree. Blind to most around her, she hones in on PowerPoint presentations like a flock of angry seagulls, even after the long-nights and weekends spent on it's creation. Often, she will make so many changes on your "deck", you will think that the cover sheet should have a C- circled around it, if not worse. There is never a "thank you"; only awkward parties and hugs on your birthday; and when she is getting ready for "her monthly's friend", her already obsessively odd , strinkingly happy (or is she), behavior turns into venom. Now you are happy with the C-, as she isn't feeling as nice, yielding a D if you are lucky. If you are a natural leader, you will butt heads with this far sighted manager, often confusing the concept of leader vs. manager.
The Work-A-Holic Boss: If you have the pleasure of working for that single-but-married to their job kind of person, you will suffer their martyrdom more often than being inspired by their leadership. Often clueless to others' feelings, this person is devoid of tact and people skills. Because they spend so many hours at the office, they become anti-social personalites, often finding quick flings at the office or through friends, but never lasting longer than 3-5 months. Another far sighted group, they miss the boat on those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities for your team /yourself. She will be caught up in the proverbial "weeds", which ironically enough, she will call you out for getting into, and won't see the passing ship sailing off into the distance. No matter what ailment, she is always at the office, sending email until 12 am, and thrives on how many other people notice her hours.
The I-Have-Tenure-so-got-this-job-boss: This is the manager who used to hold the role you are currently in; a fate worse then death if you are filling the shoes of the person who is now your boss. Not only will they judge you for what you do / how you do it different to her. Even worse, many companies promote from within, which is a great concept in theory, and if certain general guidelines are used when deciding who to promote, then skip reading the rest of this example and move to the next -- If your boss, bosses boss, and bosses bosses boss, seem to move up the ladder in tandem, most likely, they are tenured
The Dirty Old Man / Dirty Office Tramp: I know it sounds bad but they actually are a lot of fun once you get to know them. I also consider gay men who like to pinch your breasts &/or ass, in this category. You know you have found one when A) they have run out of same / opposite sex people to hit on (sometimes scoring or "going all of the way" but often times not). B) Can think, talk, say and do nothing but things related to sex -- We all have that sex kitten inside of us, but this office worker bee gets hot off of stress, enjoying a good f*ck over making love anytime. C) This person's name is part of the office rumor mill -- you know the rumor circuit is the fastest in a corporate environment, less in a start-up other than "dude, we're getting a foos-ball machine!" one, where the chicken women, miserable in their marriages, get together over the proverbial water cooler to rip apart every women and guy in the company, of course with the staple gay sidekick at their side like a sycophant, praising your beauty ad nauseum. Men will pinch butts but in that "I'm an old guy and can get away with it" kind of way (gay men are notorius at this, as well); Women will dress slightly more provocative, even in the most librarian slutty way, as they understand what men really find hot.You can't fault these beauties; they are who they are, after all.
The Pretend Friendship to Fill Your Workday: Painful as it may sound, there are people who pretend to be your friend or at least, that is what you surmise in hindsight, who leave the common organization only to drop your friendship. While many people seperate church and state, which in this case, is work and life, these people have such interesting personalities, that you adopt many of their traits. The rate of friendship grows exponentially over years, and when they feel sad, you feel sad; and when they leave and seem to forget all about you, you are challenged to pick up the corporate pieces.
The Analytic vs. Methodic - the latter is a person who is so caught up in planning their next move, that they never move, much like the manic-depressive boss. These people are excellent and planning for their next move, and in a project manager role, they can flourish. But leader of the people, they are not. The former analytic soul can make much faster twich decisions, uses a self-prescribed data-driven process for decision making but in a much smaller scale than the Methodic. The two butt heads a lot, but always respectfully, sometimes challenging the other. The methodic is inclined to see the analytic as lacking focus and always onto the "next best thing"; the analytic seeing the methodic as a "boring, more apt to purchase a savings bond than invest in a blue chip" person, yet both meet up in the middle because of their keen intellict and witty conversations about everything under the sun.
The inspiration: Once every while you are lucky enough to have 1 or 2 great bosses and colleauges in your career. These people are selflessly devoted to make their team a success, shining light of their team and always supporting and breaking down obsticles so they don't have to. This person understands that "from their success, comes my success" a simple, yet overlooked concept in business -- These people are often considered "clean up " crews, coming in to save a division of the company just in time. They are dynamic and the best type to be around, and certainly off of this list.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Workplace Metaphors and more...
I have been collecting a list of metaphors and cliches
often used in the work place to mean something to the
person saying it, in an almost self-righteous way.
For example, I once heard my boss say "Rome wasn't built
in a day...And You Can Boil the Ocean at the Same Time...While
I know you know How to Eat an Elephant - One Bite At a Time...
you might lack the Line of Site and JUMP INTO THE WEEDS
where your Grass Roots spirit takes over your 60,000 foot view."
How many workplace metaphors were used in the last paragraph?
(BTW, that was rhetorical).
The interestingly ironic thing is that these statements, while vague
and often spoken in an effort to "spin" the situation into a positive
light, they are nothing more than "smoke and mirror" statements (what I affectionately
like to call SAM).
If you hear a colleague saying one of these phrases, you might be
wondering what you should do?
Here are a few suggestions...
A) Hold your hand up in a gun position (thumb up//pointer finger out) and shoot an air gun while winking your eye.
B) Respond back with your own string of workplace metaphors: "There are no silver bullets", "let's parachute down to
street level", etc.
C) Hit your staples 'Easy Button' to eject said person through the roof
All in all, it is a fast and easy way to tell who you want to
associate with -- Go for those who speak with passion and integrity;
not spin doctors, for you might just wind up with your sweet spot (meaning:
where you find the best in breed for your business at the lowest opportunity
cost) mixed with some secret sauce (meaning: the key success measure) resulting in what my
friends tease me for doing all of the time: mixing my metaphors!
often used in the work place to mean something to the
person saying it, in an almost self-righteous way.
For example, I once heard my boss say "Rome wasn't built
in a day...And You Can Boil the Ocean at the Same Time...While
I know you know How to Eat an Elephant - One Bite At a Time...
you might lack the Line of Site and JUMP INTO THE WEEDS
where your Grass Roots spirit takes over your 60,000 foot view."
How many workplace metaphors were used in the last paragraph?
(BTW, that was rhetorical).
The interestingly ironic thing is that these statements, while vague
and often spoken in an effort to "spin" the situation into a positive
light, they are nothing more than "smoke and mirror" statements (what I affectionately
like to call SAM).
If you hear a colleague saying one of these phrases, you might be
wondering what you should do?
Here are a few suggestions...
A) Hold your hand up in a gun position (thumb up//pointer finger out) and shoot an air gun while winking your eye.
B) Respond back with your own string of workplace metaphors: "There are no silver bullets", "let's parachute down to
street level", etc.
C) Hit your staples 'Easy Button' to eject said person through the roof
All in all, it is a fast and easy way to tell who you want to
associate with -- Go for those who speak with passion and integrity;
not spin doctors, for you might just wind up with your sweet spot (meaning:
where you find the best in breed for your business at the lowest opportunity
cost) mixed with some secret sauce (meaning: the key success measure) resulting in what my
friends tease me for doing all of the time: mixing my metaphors!
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